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Another guy made sure even his social media presence wasn’t linked to mine.

He lied about not having an Instagram account, then when I “came across it” and liked one of his pictures in spite, he blocked me.

As a 22-year-old grad starting a career in fashion (and hopefully, one day, my own size-inclusive clothing line), I am drawn to guys who are funny and ambitious.

There’s no bigger turn-off than someone who does the bare minimum—except maybe body odour. Being 5’9″, I still like to be able to look up to my man, literally.

Washboard-Abs-No-Face and unsolicited dick pics that most women, unfortunately, receive. Right as a transgender woman (I was born male, but identify and present as female) adds a whole new dimension to digital dating.

Since transitioning in I haven’t reacted positively to guys who hit on me in person because I haven’t mastered the art of telling them that we have “the same parts.” For the past three years, Tinder has been my gateway into online dating as a transgender woman.

With these kind of guys, I’ve felt like I was their dirty little secret, and at first, I thought this type of interaction was the closest thing to a relationship I was going to have as a trans woman.

Whenever I do start talking to guys who “stick around,” I make sure that they know I am transgender before meeting them.

So, whenever I see 6’2″ or taller on a guy’s profile, it’s almost an automatic right swipe.

As a trans woman on dating apps, I’ve always made sure that guys are aware that I am transgender. There have also been many documented cases of trans women being hurt and sometimes even killed when they disclose their status to transphobic men that found them attractive, so being completely transparent is also a way of protecting myself from potentially dangerous situations.

These are men who find me attractive, but are initially hesitant because of my trans-ness.

With these men, I went on dates in public at the movies, or a chill restaurant, and I was viewed as more than a new sexual experience—but I don’t think I was seen as potential relationship material either. We vibed well and there was sexual tension building during our dates. After a month, he reached out to me saying he couldn’t be with me because I am transgender.




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When I tell people that I work as an online-dating assistant, their initial reaction is of morbid curiosity. But the intake interviewer seemed just as interested in my ethical flexibility as he was in the journalistic details of my résumé. ” Would I be comfortable ranking clients’ photographs? I learned that there are two main types of writers at the company: “Profile Writers,” who create seductive and click-worthy profiles based on facts our clients have supplied about themselves, and “Closers,” who log in to clients’ dating accounts at least twice a day to respond to messages from matches.


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Unlike other dating sites, TAT isn’t trying to adjust its approach or target to make trans women feel welcome, it is trans owned and operated.